Previously....

And so it begins - She writes....
I love to write.. I have perhaps always found comfort in the way words can so easily transform thoughts into something I can understand. So I have decided to write again. I have nothing important to say, and This blog is purely for myself, though from time to time i may invite someone close to read my ramblings - I don' t write for them, I write for myself.I am feeling something and I' m not even sure what the feeling is, lost, sad, self reflective, I find myself asking questions I am unsure of the answers to - or even of the questions themselves.Ever wondered who you are? Why you are here, what your direction is, your drive... I ask those questions a lot lately. Life has given me many hurdles to overcome and hoops to jump through, though i have survived i often wonder at what cost. Recently i have had a very serious health scare with a lump i have found in my neck, small pea size, slightly bigger little lump that has made me wonder so much about my life, the past, the present and if i will have a future. Sitting in the Dr' s office alone and hearing that it " could " be a cancer, was the scariest moment of my life.. I don't even remember leaving the surgery - I still don' t know what the lump is , I'm waiting on biopsy' s and whatever else i may need, but in the meantime i am trying to stay positive and remain hope full that the man upstairs doesn't really wanna see me - yet. =P

Through all this , and many other things in my life, I realised how badly I want to be loved, Now lets not get this confused with wanting comfort... I am OK to be alone, I like the company I keep in solace - However I want to share my life with someone, with a string of bad relationships behind me and men I probably never liked to begin with, I turned to a very good friend of mine, whom I love dearly ( and turn to often ) and asked him what I should do, how i should go about finding someone , what next... and his first job for me is to write a list of 10 things I like doing - easy enough you say , I laughed, how crazy is it that at my age yeah im 27, I' m not even sure what I like doing, over the years I have tried so hard to please my partners I have done what they want, liked what they like etc.. So now I need to actually work out what I like... Wish me luck.
1. Fishing - Yes a girl who actually likes fishing.
2. Photography - I love capturing moments in time, I love the way a photo can say so much, I like to photograph people - People I don' t know, and who are not aware.
3.- I will have to think about this one.
Posted by Elisha at 3:09 PM